YOU ARE FAT AND UGLY!

YOU ARE FAT AND UGLY!

When someone who is supposed to love you says that to you over and over again... it really 'f*#ks' you up.. it does not HELP. It hurts. It hurts OVER and OVER again.

I have not been able to get those words out of my head... they have swirled around in there for over 15 years now!
When I can... food will not be able to rule my head... and my life.

I have to decide that I am OVER his words.
I have to decide that I am not FAT and UGLY.
I have to do this for me, for no one else.

I am going for a walk today. So are the kids and dogs. We are going to walk every day.. even if it rains.

Today is a new day. Today I am going to take control again.
I have been floundering for the past few weeks.
Letting small things ALLOW me to emotionally eat crap again.
NO MORE.

I am going to be strong... and one day... feel good about my self, by body, my fitness AGAIN.

SO. THERE.

(this post is really for me... not you poor buggers out there)... but as this is my blog, and YOU choose to read it... you have to like it or lump it!

And YES, I have said all this before.. I know, I know... but for today.. it is how I am feeling. I want to change this pattern.

Can you help? YES you can.... just continue to be here... no matter how good or bad I do. OK?

*** I suppose I should say who it was.... who said not just those words, but many, many more.. in private, in public, in front of other people, who did not care who was around. Who told Stew HE should 'do somthing about his fat wife'... it went on and on... everytime we saw him he couldn't help himself! He even called me a ' huge heifer' right after I had given birth to my 6th baby, who was a 10 pound 4 ounce baby, yet I only gained 2 kilos through the entire pregnancy! It was my father.

My father drowned in 2000, and to this day I don't miss him. I loved him... but I don't miss him. And I am not sure I should be publishing this... but here goes.

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ABOVE: a little video of the Botanic Gardens this morning. We did indeed walk this morning, from 9am till 10 am! We walked to the Botanic Gardens, had a look at a part of the gardens we had not been in before, it was so lovely.

It did rain, and the sun came out too.. but most of the time is was cloudy and threatening to piss down on us.

On our way home again (which was ALL uphill I might add) we saw this little bugger!:

He lives only two minutes up the road from our home, and I had NEVER seen him before! He's gorgeous! And NOT so little for a Kune Kune pig!

ABOVE: a few photos taken at the Botanic Gardens.

It was a really lovely walk, one I thoroughly enjoyed, so did Teddy! We left wee Coco at home, it was too far for her to go. Griffin was good too.. until we headed for home again... he did not like the uphill trudge back! Too bad. We are doing it again tomorrow!

ABOVE: another wee video.. this time of that cute piggy!

Since this morning we have had lunch, watched some telly, I've done some cleaning, decided I ain't cooking tonight... and had a nap!

Oh and now I'm going to read some blogs!

BLOGGER is being an arse again and not publishing some of the comments left today. Hopefully they will turn up eventually!

MY LEGS HURT... wonder why? Hmmmm... probably that walk eh? Shows I need to walk MORE.

End of Day: I'm having a carb-less kebab for dinner.. Stew is going to go out to the mall and get us them. Yum. thanks for all the comments today... I am so thankful to have so many kind and caring friends out there in blogland. {{{HUGS}}} and nite nite.